Normal-ish service to be resumed shortly, lots of pics to post and a few stories to tell but....
Usually, I enjoy Cornwall immensely, golden beaches, weather that, whilst not always perfect, is always pleasant enough for us to have a good time. Scenery and sunsets that just make my jaw drop in wonder and delight no matter how many times I see them, chocolate box pretty villages, wild open countryside where you can be alone, the list goes on.
This time, not so much..
A few days after arriving under the cloud of an impending chest infection, I got news that a close family member had died very unexpectedly. Whilst I was told that under no circumstances was I to come home because everything was in hand etc, obviously my holiday was over from that point onwards and what was left was done out of conditioning and for the benefit of others rather than full blooded enthusiasm. I wandered around in a disbelieving haze and made a few bad decisions whilst the little ones carried on business as usual.
Normally a funeral makes things clearer, providing a focal point for grief and mourning and I've yet to attend one that, after the service, didn't descend/rise into happy laughter as old acquaintances and family members regale each other with tales of the wonderful/stupid/funny things the deceased had done, it's a time of sadness but hey, we can have a good time remembering how much fun we had with them right?
This time was no different, there were happy little people running around playing, alcohol was consumed and the black humour was much in evidence with tales of how daft/funny/human he was but for some reason I still don't fully believe it. Perhaps because I was on holiday and was 'detached' from the immediacy, perhaps because he was the youngest of the six of us, perhaps because we still have no reason (it's likely we won't get a definite one now), I'm not really sure but it's still not 'real'.
I'm also sure it'll sink in and hit home some time soon.
I just want to say thanks to those who offered virtual sympathies and offered a comforting hand, it seems I've good friends out there, people I can rely on and who I hope can rely on me when they need a shoulder too.
2 comments:
It was sad that your holiday was ruined, from your point of view, and it can't have been helped by how you felt, health-wise. Here's hoping you come into better spirits soon! xx
Sometimes i think life is a bitch. Sometimes i am proved right and then other times i am proved wrong.
If nothing else hun take this pain and sadness and use it for positive means. Remember my big shoulders are always here xx
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